Okay, I'm going to say it. Hands down the most intimidating step in becoming happy, successful, and fulfilled is being able to confront what life throws at you. There, I said it.
That being said, today, we are going to talk about the third step of Accepting the Challenge…You must be able to Confront. If you are just joining us, please refer back to earlier posts.
So, what is it about this word, "CONFRONT" that is so daunting. We so often equate fear with confront. Why? It's because we hear the phrase, “Confront your fears” all the time.
It’s like we have to grab some unknown power from deep inside to be able to do it. Absorb some unknown energy, like Superman and rise up to greatness to confront a situation or person!
Holy Smokes. That IS daunting.
But what if that was the wrong way to look at it?
What if the easiest way to confront is to learn the power of gradients?
What????
I know. Instead of reaching for some unknown source, we should just reach toward gradients.
Again, what am I talking about? Let's try an example.
I’m pretty sure the athletes who dive from the 10 meter platform in the Olympics didn’t start at that height. Can you imagine standing there and having to dive from there if you’d never dove from a lower height? Can’t you hear those people saying, “Confront your fears!” Ha!
I don’t think so!
Cut back the gradient.
Start where it is comfortable.
I'm sure they dove from the side of the pool, then the spring board, then the 3 meters board and on and on. Got it?
Okay, let's look at fitness with regards to confronting.
How do we confront getting back into shape? Well, I’ll give you a secret my workout instructor gave me.
3%. It's the perfect gradient.
Each time you work out increase your effort by 3%. It’s barely even noticeable, but oh so effective. You want to lose weight? Walk 3% more than you did yesterday. Eat 3% less than you did yesterday. Lift 3% more than you did last time. It was the greatest exercise advice anyone ever gave me. Why? Because it works.
Okay, so what about writers, artists or project managers? What about confronting that blank page? How do you confront it?
Draw on it. Scribble on it. Write what you wrote yesterday. Cut back the gradient until you find a comfortable place to start.
That’s how I always work on my screenplays. I never start with a blank page. I read what I wrote yesterday, make a few corrections and then continue. Even my first page is not blank because it’s really not my first page. I’ve already written an outline which I expanded into scenes. My outline wasn’t a blank page because before that I had a sheet with all the beats of the story. Before that beat sheet, I had the outline for the beat sheet. You get it? I just kept cutting back the gradient until I found a system that was comfortable for me.
Okay, what about relationships? Let’s confront the dating scene.
Just a few days ago, I was speaking with a lovely friend of mine who was struggling with how to find the right guy. We started with the standard question, “Did you make a list of your ideal man's attributes?” She said yes and then I asked the question that was once asked to me before I met my late husband, Mickey and revisited before I met my lovely husband, Tab. “What is it about you that deserves that ideal person?” Wow, right?
I'm going to give you a second to think about that!
What is that question asking you? Answer: Have you taken the steps to be ready when that perfect mate shows up in your life?
Again, Wow! We keep talking about steps or in other words, gradients. We are talking steps on a staircase rather than steps on a long walk on the beach.
We are forced to confront every day, to the degree that we are not prepared for the next step in our lives. Your ability to confront a challenge is equal to the degree you are prepared. You are prepared to the degree that you have established proper gradients to achieve success in an area. We want to walk up a set of stairs instead of trying to crawl up a steep incline.
So, if you can BE THERE to see what you need in order to create an exceptional life and you KNOW and are aligned with your PURPOSE, and the areas you need to CONFRONT are doable because you know you can achieve them through gradients, then Accepting the Challenge should be a breeze!
Ask yourself now, “What can you confront?”
Before you go, I want to show you an incredible creation sent to me from one of our readers. It’s her version of The Jar we talked about last week. I thought it was such a lovely creation and I was so happy she took the time to take a photo and send it to me, I wanted to share it with you.
holy smokes! this is awesome
This is so very true. Like you said, just the word "confront stirs" up uncomfortable feelings. I am the most non-confrontational person. Thanks for great advise!!!!!
Very workable tip! I think a lot of people will be able to apply this right away!